Always drink upstream from the herd.” – Will Rogers

Did you know that in a corporate HRBP role, you can actually run into the complication of being too damn friendly?! Truthfully, it can be a problem; “going native,” or “Stockholm Syndrome,” or imprinting, or whatever you want to call it – we have to remain at arm’s length from the people we support. “People” (“they’re the worst”) being the trickiest of all of God’s creatures, you risk compromising your objectivity at a time when it is needed most. This means, future Generalist, that we have to remain friendless – I realize the punchline here, that for many of us that really should be no problem, but still…


“I dunno, you just seem….different.”

Like a lot of you, I “grew up” with a company as I honed my professional chops. Initially in a recruiting role, I took great pride in the advancement and success of the people I helped bring into the company. Not only do you have a bond with the new hire, you earn a chip with the hiring manager as he/she begins to rely on you to acquire the best talent for his or her respective team. Yessir, when you’ve had success in a staffing role, you can end up with a whole lot of buddies in the hall. Then, you get tapped on the shoulder, brought upstairs and given the golden scepter in HR ~ the “Business Partner.” Except that’s a misnomer. “Partner” implies “friend,” which does not accurately define your new position. Remember those hires you made? Now, these same people may be on the receiving end of an investigation, a performance improvement plan, or a termination – and that can be a problem.

Sadly, your days of having “friends” are over. For we, the strategic advisors to the throne, are on an island in the corporate ocean, several degrees removed from the mainland where the employee population resides. When we’re called in to provide guidance on an employee relations issues, our objectivity is critical and is expected by employee and manager alike. Those same “buddies” you had from your days of talent acquisition are now in the same category as everyone else, i.e. “potential E.R. subject.” That’s not harsh, it’s just reality.  That means we are privy to (or exposed to) a lot of activity that takes place behind the curtain; and sometimes, that includes your friends.

As I’m typing this, I realize the ridiculous tone of my post – “…can’t have friends????? Isn’t that part of the problem with HR?”  Well, maybe – but there’s a difference between being friendly and  being “friends.” Finding the line of separation can be tough, especially for someone who may have spent a large chunk of their professional life with one company. You can have colleagues, peers, collaborators, mentors, associates, and clients; but “buddies” can be a liability for you and the company.

Like my old man used to say,”stay close, but don’t get close.”

(Originally posted on Fistful of Talent, July 31st, 2013. What, you think I’m working on Labor Day??????)