Pretend for a minute there exists a supplement for increasing your corporate muscle. For grins, let’s call it “Gorilla Toe,” a powder made from the skeletal remains of the Great Apes, found in the mystic jungles that hold the ancient Gorilla Graveyard (shut up, it could happen).

Would you use it?

While we’re living in the hypothetical, what if you knew that “Gorilla Toe” was banned from use in your company, you would be subject to random testing, and being found out could jeopardize your career. Wouldja?

continuing….You’re absolutely certain the kid from Staffing is “using;” he filled 125 positions last Quarter and is being lauded as the Second Coming; furthermore, the HRBP for Finance is killing it with her team, conducting an entire organizational assessment and comp review in less than six months – there’s no way she’s not juicing. What to do, what to do….


I’m gonna performance manage all over your ass

Human Resources is an exceedingly difficult profession – there are fewer and fewer “sitting” HR jobs these days; you either learn to play businessman with the big boys & girls or you become expendable. That’s the nature of being SG&A. So, it’s only natural to look for the next “edge” ~ HR professionals on the wrong side of the desk may be pushed to consider stretching their comfort level to fend off a younger set of would-be replacements. It could be frightening to anyone in Human Resources (or any corporate function) to see the number of independent, technologically advanced specialists who are pushing the envelope as it relates to building a buffed-up HR. If forced to play “catch-up,” it may be a battle that is futile.

When I read about another professional athlete implicated in a steroid/hormone/supplement scandal, these are the questions that run through my head – would I? I’d like to think not – but what if those around me, with lesser skills and abilities, began out-producing me based on the extra boost?

It’s not apples to apples, but it’s not outside of the imagination to consider the scenario playing out in the future. There may even be trailblazers among us right now – I’m making the odds 3:2 that Kris Dunn is juicing…just look at those pecs!


John “Whit” Whitaker is Founder and OH (Original Hardballer); HR Hardball™ is a blunt, self-aware, and sometimes snarky perspective of Human Resources.